This post is about Women who are also Mothers.
I don’t normally write about gender differences because it is such a risk subject that could be easily miss-understood. This time, though, I feel the need to say something that comes from my own experience and life, I want to speak in first person today. And I want to be an example for other Women too.
I am a working Mom, very passionate and dedicated to her Job. I did spend as long as possible in my last maternity leaves but when finished, I wanted to go back working as much as before, and it was the best thing I could have done. I do not regret the choice I have made to work full time. My job makes me feel realized as a person and I feel not only a mother, also a women. And I do believe if the mother is happy and satisfied, also children would be.
I want to be a model for both my son and my daughter. For my son who learns that it doesn’t have to be men working and maintaining the family, it can be also the other way around. And for my daughter, I want her to show that she can make it, it IS possible to succeed and taking decisions for the family and at the end it can work good for both.
I want to be economically independent and not having to ask someone else if I can spend his money and how. Of course in a family context, such decisions are made together, but the feeling of owning the decision is for me crucial.
Women can decide also how to live. Who said that only man can determinate the status of a family and decide, for example, where to live? Why have to be only man taking “carrier opportunities” and deciding to relocate if that can make them grown? Why shouldn’t this chance given to the women? Well, I am the living example that those things are also offered to mothers and that mother CAN take the challenge!
When we moved here in Germany I was 29 and I accepted an European responsibility. At that time my son was 1 year and a half and my husband quick his job in Italy and decided to stay home for a little while my son was introduced in the local Kindergarten. It was not easy of course and we had to find new balances, but it was possible.
After two years I had my second child, she is born here in Germany. Well, after my maternity leave it was already decided that my husband would have (again!) quick his actual job to taking care of the little one. This way works best for us, he enjoys a lot being with little ones and I feel totally at my place at work.
Of course I do miss my kids, especially when I travel. And I wish I could spend more time with them, especially more relaxed time. But at the end I feel much better this way that staying home full time with them.
I am not saying that every women should then work like I do, I know this is our way but it could be completely different for every family. Only I want to say, if you like to work and you think you can make it, believe in yourself and not let others put you down. There are the SAME chances for us mothers than for man fathers, we have to believe, stay strong, be prepared to be under-evaluated and under-estimated but keep fighting. Most of all, don’t ever give up, stay strong because we are the example of our children.
I am leaving today for my umpteenth business trip. My husband is home with the kids. They surely will miss me and I will miss them. But I feel strong and confident, and they feel and learn it.